Ascension -- Ian Disch

Ascension

Never thought I’d swim like a fish in some tank.
Never thought I’d smash all the dishes with my hand.
Spreading all the blood all around the floor.
Feeling warm.
Seeing the door.
Feeling kind of tipsy.
My head is spinning fast.
Did I just hear a noise?
Where’s that light coming from?
Then it sets in like a blast.
Wires around my legs.
Stumbling...then falling,
Felt nothing
My moods growing,
I feel great!
Send the melons in!
Oh all those melons. Watch them shining.
Jumping on my hips, trying to reach my eyelashes,
Pulling them,
Feels fantastic.
Now why’s that child there?
Why’s it crying?
Where’s it’s lungs?
I hear no one dying.
Then it crashes into my skull.
That must be what they were talking about.
Where’s that smell coming from?
It’s blood, definitely. No doubt.
I see my hand;
It makes me shudder.
Get away!
Reaching for the cutter:
Snap!
Snap!
Off with you!
You’re nothing good!
Slipping…
…that damn floor
Full of that blood…
Hitting my head,
I can feel my eyeballs popping,
Looking in different directions now.
There’s no topping
To this feeling.
Never thought I’d reach this place.
Who’s that guy?
Me?
I wanna taste myself.
Biting the flesh.
Shit!
My stomach hurts.
And finally I reach the brain of mine.
Silence.
Sirens!
Painful alert!
Shut them up!
It’s cracking my mind into pieces!
I’m fucking blind!
Get back here!
and nothing…